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It is true, I am not in the US anymore.
Matt and I are on a week long trip to Cancun. We have a few things that need to be done before the new year gets here. Please pray for safe travel.

Just so you know this post might be long.

On the plane to Cancun I started getting this headache. After trying everything I knew to get rid of it, I realized something. "This only happens when I am worried". Yes I get worry head aches. After much thought I realized that there were two things that were weighing heavily on my heart.

1. Since my sabbatical to the states has begun, I am out of focus. With the excitement of seeing family and friends that I haven't seen for a few months I have forgotten something. The amazing part that Christ has played in my life. I wasn't praying anymore. I wasn't trusting in Him for my everything.

2. Money. Over the past six months, every penny that I have needed has been there. Now since I am back in the US the money is running low. So low that I don't know if I will be able to afford a plane ticket back to Cancun after Christmas. Here I am, in a position where the only way that I will be able to return to my work in Mexico is by the grace of our sovereign God.

There is only way to make it in this life. Give it all up. After a long night, it looks like my heart is back on the right track.

I found an old journal entry that encouraged me, I will now share it with you.

"The moment I let go of my flesh is the moment that change will begin. It is the moment that I will begin to cease. It is the moment I will begin to be transformed. I need that transformation.
I am like a scholar that does not study. I am a fish that does not swim. I am a bird that doesn’t fly. I am dead in stagnate water. Save me.
I let go. I close my eyes. If only to be with you for a moment than it will all be worth it. I give you my all. I am nothing. Save me."

Hebrews 10:19-25
Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the most holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the day approaching.